Years ago I had myself all spun up about something. I was talking to a friend and was “awfulizing”, using the “what if…. and what if…”. She calmly sat there and said to me, “what if that isn’t true.” It stopped my whole tirade. Since then I have worked with that with shame.
In shame we feel like we are not good enough, or defective in some way, or less than. I could go on and on. I challenge you with the statement, “what if that shame is absolutely not true?” “What if the truth is the exact opposite of that?” “What if, in truth, you are absolutely perfect, just the way you are?” “What if you are not a mistake?”
Just sit with that for a bit. Make it into a statement. I AM PERFECT, JUST THE WAY I AM.
Shame is the lie of our culture. It is the biggest obstacle to peace that we live with. If I feel defective, or not good enough, or whatever words best describe my shame, I will live in a defensive state. In that state I will be ready to attack you or myself at the drop of a hat. There is no peace in living this way.
War with self and other is what lies the groundwork for war in our world. I need to start with the, “What if that is not true and I am lovable” statement and do what I need to do to believe it. That leads to peace.