Hello and Happy rain to all of you in the Southwest in the rain! Wow- what a blessing.
I am writing in the part of my book where I talk about Red Flags. We can’t bring healing to our shame if we don’t know we are in it. (You may get tired of me saying this and it is so important.) So, I am writing on “Red Flags” that you are in shame. Each daily page that is identifying a “Red Flag” will have a little red flag on it. (I just think I am so clever. Ha!!)
What I have learned over the years is that many of the indicators that we are in shame seem really elusive. Over time I have learned my own personal Big red flag indicators and it helps me move out of shame so very much faster.
So, the first one I will be writing about is:
1. Being disconnected from what is going on around us. This is different from a fugue, but may feel the same.
What happens is: we either internally or externally trigger into shame and go into the shame cycle. At that point we are in a defensive posture, feeling a level of self consciousness, are disconnected from our real feelings, and buzzing around in some sort of a powerless, self-defeating place. We are absolutely not in the moment, but are internally absorbed in some sort of a stream of thought concerning whatever triggered us or involved in a self defeating behavior. We are no where near connected to what is happening around us. We are not “in our feet.” We are gone.
When we come up for air and notice that we have been gone awhile we will have a great opportunity to:
1. Name that we must be in shame or a shame cycle.
2. Possibly see what internal or external thought or action triggered us.
3. Begin to utilize the shame healing tools we are learning to move out of the shame.
I will be writing on 32 “Red Flags”. Some you will relate to more than others.
Remember to look for the “Little Red Flag”on certain pages in my book. It makes me smile because I see the book taking shame and I get so very happy about that!!
Peace to your heart and your thoughts!