I am sitting here tonight thinking about the ultimate healing of shame. The voice of shame never quits and I am not sure it will, at least until I am home with my God. However, I do believe we can return home while still living in this world, and that although the shame voice may still come up, we can heal from it. One has to be absolutely willing to believe that we were created in love, and that love is our only truth. Shame would never have you believe this. It will always tell us we have something to prove, that we are never enough, that we need to continue to pay penance, and that we can’t truly be forgiven. I believed shame for so long. I was sure it was right and that I would always feel “less than” at some deep level. Well, shame wore me down. It beat me up and tore me down until I said- “no more.” I am done believing shame above Love. I am done believing that I have to prove myself. I am done.
Healing is about noticing the voice of shame and then being willing to turn in the direction of love. It is a choice once you know it is a choice. Until then one doesn’t know one has a choice. Shame is its own enemy. It is so vicious that eventually you can’t take it and have to turn in a different direction. That direction is the voice of love. It never was not there. It just felt like that. It has always been the truth. On the cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” As long as shame directs our life, we know not what we do. Healing is about turning in the direction of truth and love. I just won’t keep listening to shame, no matter how convincing it seems to be. I am tired and done. Healing is about listening to a different voice. I am ready.
Daily reminder- Shame is NEVER the truth. Notice that and turn in the direction of love.